A Very Preston & Steve Solar Eclipse Event

Update: Video of the P&S Solar Eclipse Ritual posted now on the Daily Rush page 


Original Post: Since there are no rituals associated with the Solar Eclipse that were fun and up to our standards, we made one up. Follow along as we seek ultimate cleansing and rebirth...

HIGH PRIEST STEVE:   WELCOME ALL HERE TODAY WHO SEEK REBIRTH THROUGH THIS MOST SACRED CELESTIAL EVENT - THE SOLAR ECLIPSE.

AS IT WAS IN THE ANCIENT TIMES AND AS DECREED BY THE SACRED BOOK, WE ARE JOINED BY SEMI NAKED, SEMI VIRGINS PROVIDED BY COVEN CLUB RISQUE -  SIDE NOTE, THIS IS ON THE WEBCAM.

HIGH PRIEST PRESTON:  AS IT WAS IN THE BEFORE TIME, THE CLEANSING RITUAL WAS MEANT TO APPEASE THE SUN DURING ITS’ TIME OF ECLIPSE, TO OFFER UNTO IT SOMETHING SO STUPID, SO PATHETIC THAT IT WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO BRING ITSELF TO DESTROY US.

IN A MOMENT, THE COUNCIL OF ELDERS AND THE SEMI NAKED, SEMI VIRGINS WILL SURROUND THE WELL OF REBIRTH WHICH IN MANY WAYS RESEMBLES THE TOILET WE USED FOR ST. PATRICK’S DAY.

AT THIS TIME, THE CHANT OF THE ANCIENT ONES SHALL BE PERFORMED AND A BABY WILL BROUGHT FORTH AND BATHED IN THE PURIFYING WATERS.  IN MANY WAYS, THIS BABY WILL RESEMBLE THE DOLL THAT HIGH PRIEST STEVE ACCIDENTALLY PURCHASED OFF OF AMAZON… IN THE TIME OF DARKNESS.

HIGH PRIESTESS KATHY:  BRICK A BRACK A FIRECRACKER.  ZIS BOOM BAH! SOLAR ECLIPSE, SOLAR ECLIPSE! RAH RAH RAH!