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6/10/99 Mike Meyers Stars As "Dr. Evil" In "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me." (Photo By Getty Images)

Lisa Gilroy was given an assignment: perform a dramatic monologue from any movie. She saw the word “any” as a challenge. On Golden Pond? Steel Magnolias? Citizen Kane? Nah, too obvious. How about a Mike Meyers masterpiece: