Dee Snider Responds to Being Dropped from SF Pride

Author Erica Banas // Rock Music Reporter

May 5th 2:40 PM

Dee Snider has issued a statement in response to being dropped from the performing lineup at next month’s Pride event in San Francisco.

What led to San Francisco Pride to drop Snider from their event?

As previously reported, San Francisco Pride released a statement titled “San Francisco Pride Distances Itself from Dee Snider” following the Twisted Sister singer’s support of a statement from Paul Stanley about gender-affirming care of minors. Stanley’s statement contained multiple inaccuracies pertaining to parents seeking gender-affirming care for their trans/non-binary children. (A breakdown and examination of those inaccuracies can be read in the article below.) Snider would later retweet Stanley’s statement and said, “You know what? There was a time where I ‘felt pretty’ too. Glad my parents didn’t jump to any rash conclusions! Well said, @PaulStanleyLive.”

SF Pride’s statement said, in part, ” … When we were notified about the tweet in which Dee expressed support for KISS’s Paul Stanley’s transphobic statement, we were heartbroken and angry. The message perpetuated by that tweet casts doubt on young trans people’s ability to self-identify their gender.”

The statement further noted, “Transgender people, particularly transgender women and children of color, are disproportionately affected by hate and violence. And with transphobia proliferating and becoming more and more enshrined in law throughout the country — we have to stand up for the most impacted among us. We have mutually agreed to part ways, but appreciate Dee seeing this as a teachable moment and a reminder that even allies need to be educated to ensure that they are not casually promoting transphobia. To all our allies — we want to call you in — not call you out.”

Snider’s Statement

Since news of SF Pride dropping him from their event lineup, Snider has issued a lengthy statement in response titled, “So, I hear I’m transphobic. Really?”

Snider begins his statement by saying how honored he was for being invited to perform at SF Pride. He also mentioned he’s been a long supporter of the LGBTQ+ community and that he was going to perform the Twisted Sister classic “We’re Not Gonna Take It” at the event. In fact, the song was going to be used as the event’s “battle cry” and have the song’s title changed to “Queer Not Gonna Take It.”

Snider says of the song use and title change, “Is that transphobic? I was not aware the Transgender community expects fealty and total agreement with all their beliefs and any variation or deviation is considered ‘transphobic.’ So, my lifetime of supporting the Transgender community’s right to identify as they want and honoring whatever changes they may make in how they present themselves to the world isn’t enough? Why not?”

He continues, “I’ve recently stated I do not believe young children are ready to decide their gender allocation. I believe their choices should be supported and accepted by their parents, but I do not think kids have the mental capabilities to make rational, logical decisions on things of a magnitude that will affect them for the rest of their lives. I do not believe they are mentally developed enough.”

Snider then quotes Dr. Jennifer Katzenstein, who is the Director of psychology, neuropsychology and social work and co- director of the Center for Behavioral Health at Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital. Dr. Katzenstein says, ” … it is important for parents to remember that development varies across children, and that one age (such as age 7) is not the end of development, or a ‘deadline for developing reasoning skills.’ Cognitive development continues into adulthood, and as parents, it is our responsibility to continue to challenge and support our children.”

Snider closes by touting his moderate views. He then says, “The Transgender community needs moderates who support their choices, even if we don’t agree with every one of their edicts. For some Transgender people (not all) to accuse supporters, like me, of transphobia is not a good look for their cause. Don’t reject people who are willing to march, sing and stand with you just because we don’t perfectly see eye-to-eye. We are still your allies.”

He adds, “I, Dee Snider, will continue to support the Transgender community and their right to choose even if they reject me and moving forward, I am open to educating myself so I can be a better ally.”

Snider’s full remarks can be viewed here.

We're Parents of Trans Kids. Here's What Paul Stanley Has Wrong About Gender-Affirming Care.

• Gender and Sexuality are two very different things

  Erica Banas (EB): Paul Stanley has always struck me as rather levelheaded. In the case of his statement, he seems very misinformed. To begin with, he doesn’t seem to grasp the difference between gender identity and sexual identity. Did that jump out right away to you, too?

  Adam 12 (A12): It did, yes. Right off the bat, it read like a right-wing talking point. What was the phrase? “Encouraging participation in a lifestyle that confuses young children.” People don’t talk like that. Especially not Paul Stanley. He’s always been the one to come across as more down-to-earth, as opposed to Gene [Simmon]’s penchant for bombast. So, the tone and the words he was using both struck me. I don’t think he’s grasped the difference because I don’t think he’s actually done the work to understand it yet.

  EB: Which, to a point, is understandable, especially if he doesn’t have any trans or non-binary people in his life. I wish I knew what exactly led to him to decide to draft and share such a statement.

  It needs to be said for those that might be unaware and that are reading this: Gender identity is not the same as sexual identity. Gender identity is who you are, and sexual identity relates to who you love. They are very different.

  A12: Thank you! I’m glad you laid it out like that. Because once you see it written out, it’s a pretty easy concept to grasp.

• Supportive parents of Trans/Non-Binary children aren't leading them 'further down a path that's far from innocence'

  EB: I also took issue with Paul’s whole thing of leading kids “further down a path that’s far from innocence.” To me, supporting your child and their identity is actually really great and allows them to fully embrace who they are. It means you’re listening to your child. You’re trying to understand what they’re going through and helping them navigate towards a happy, healthy life.

  I remember once my kid was out to my husband and I and we accepted her, her attitude and behavior took a 180. It was like a weight was lifted off. She was a completely different kid and was SO happy! What was it like with your child?

  A12: Similar to your experience, actually. From a very young age, my kid has had a clear and strong idea of who they are. Their mom and I had an idea that they’d come out, and they did, and we supported them. Lots of love and encouragement and support in the situations when we knew they’d be dealing with people who weren’t as loving or encouraging.

  EB: You touch on an important point with your child having a strong idea from a young age that they were trans. Some kids know seemingly right away, but for my daughter, she wasn’t out until her latter high school years. When my husband and I sat down with her to have those early “coming out” talks, we asked her when she started to feel like she was trans. She told us she always felt “different” but couldn’t quite figure it out. It was only until lockdown during the pandemic when we all were isolated with little to do that she really thought about all of these feelings inside of her. Then it finally clicked with her and things made sense.

  (In fact, many people during the pandemic have come to realize their sexual identity wasn’t what it was, and it was due to having a lot more time on their hands to actually think about it. Some of those stories were explored in a number of publications including BBC’s LoveLife, The New York Times, Mashable and the Chicago Tribune.)

  A12: That’s wonderful. And that‘s how it should be! I think now might be a good time to remind people that trans kids are…kids. Children. With all the complex emotions and fears that kids have. Children are to be protected, respected, and listened to. Their feelings are to be validated. Too often we’re seeing the opposite now.

• The real 'sad and dangerous fad'? State legislatures trying to pass discriminatory laws against LGBTQ+ people and their families.

  (As of publishing, there have been 469 anti-LGBTQ bills introduced in state legislatures in 2023 alone. These bills span a wide range of issues from trans student athletes participating in school sports to LGBTQ people or issues being discussed or taught in schools. These bills also include attempts to ban or censor drag performances and banning gender-affirming healthcare to trans and non-binary youth. The ACLU has an entire page where you can explore all of these bills.)

  A12: There are hundreds of pieces of legislature in states across the nation aimed at harming trans kids. Which, again, is harming children. That’s wrong, plain and simple. And that’s part of what irked me so much about Paul’s comments. We need people with Paul’s cache and reach to be saying “Protect Trans Kids!” Not “…a sad and dangerous fad.”

  EB: The real “sad and dangerous fad” truly is all of the bills being presented and passed in state legislatures across the country. While there is greater visibility of trans and non-binary people in society, they still make up a small percentage of the entire population. All trans and non-binary people want is to be able to peacefully live their lives as their true selves. What some politicians are doing is frankly very cruel.

  A12: It’s cruel, and it’s the same crap gay people were dealing with last century during the “Lavender Scare.” Just another moral panic drummed up by politicians who need to manufacture a pretend threat to try and keep people in line. But real people–children–are the ones who are suffering.

  EB: In some states, so are their families.

  (In February 2022, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott gave a directive to the Texas Department of Family Protective Services instructing the department to investigate parents with transgender children who were receiving gender-affirming care, with the potential of these children being removed from their parent’s custody and put into Texas’s foster care system. In the year since the directive was introduced, the ACLU has introduced two lawsuits against it. Both lawsuits are ongoing, with Texas continuing to target trans youth and their families. Texas has introduced 52 anti-LGBT bills in their legislature in 2023, the most of any state, as of publishing.)

• Gender-affirming care doesn't always mean reassignment surgery, which is extremely rare with minors.

  EB: I think one of the big things I had to learn about was gender-affirming care, which, similar to gender, is a spectrum. There’s a variety of gender-affirming care. Some people choose to get surgery, like “top surgery” or “bottom surgery.” While my daughter has no interest in surgery, she has been on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) for just under a year, and it has helped her immensely. Sometimes, “social transitioning” is all that’s desired.

  A12: I love your use of “spectrum” here. Much like many of us have learned in recent years about the Autism spectrum, gender is a spectrum, too. The old school, yes/no, on/off, binary-style of thinking needs to be left behind and the spectrum way of thinking needs to be embraced. It allows us to see and celebrate one another more fully. And moves us away from the “us vs. them” mentality that comes along with the binary mindset.

  That’s the mindset, I think, that Stanley is in. He jumps right to gender reassignment in his comments because–and this is just my interpretation—when you’re in that binary mindset, it can only be one of two ways. And here’s Paul saying it‘s gotta be this way, because the other way is wrong. And as we’ve discussed, there’s so much more to gender than that.

  EB: I think many people all over the world are seeing, understanding and embracing how gender is a spectrum. It’s sad that it’s often framed in a fear-mongering sense by politicians or certain celebrities or members of the media. Once you wrap your head around it, it’s a rather beautiful thing, because it helps people identify who they actually are and often makes them happier. After all, I think we’re all just trying to lead happy, healthy lives. As parents, we’re trying to raise happy, healthy children. Respecting and understanding someone’s gender identity is part of that.

  (According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, “top surgery” helps “create male-typical chest shape or enhance breasts.” “Bottom surgery” is defined as “surgery on genitals or reproductive organs.” HRT is when testosterone hormones are taken by those assigned female at birth or estrogen for those assigned male at birth. “Social transitioning,” which is also called “social affirmation,” is when a when a trans person adopts “gender-affirming hairstyles, clothing, name, gender pronouns, and restrooms and other facilities.”

  Furthermore, according to the Human Rights Campaign, “Transgender and non-binary people are not able to have gender-affirming genital surgeries until they are adults. In very rare exceptions, 16 or 17 year-olds who have been consistent and persistent in their gender identity for years, have been taking gender-affirming hormones for some time, and who have approvals from both their parents and doctors, have been able to receive top surgeries.”)

• Pronoun usage is one of the easiest ways to affirm someone's gender identity and isn't some 'fun' game.

  EB: I’m going to be honest about something: I thought Paul’s idea of using pronouns being a “fun” game was sort of funny, especially since we’ve addressed him as Paul Stanley for decades. His birth name is Stanley Eisen and Gene Simmons’ birth name is Chaim Witz. Respecting a trans or non-binary person’s pronouns or preferred name, to me, is no different than calling them Paul and Gene all these years.

  A12: Precisely. It’s strange to me that some people have a hard time making that mental leap. Learning and respecting someone’s pronouns or name isn’t odd behavior. Disrespecting them is what’s odd. And yeah, for a guy like Paul Stanley who [checks the lyrics to “Love Gun”] clearly identifies as a heterosexual cis male…yet uses a stage name, puts on makeup, and wears costumes that bend the hell out of his gender to have a problem with trans people and their supportive parents? My guy, I think you need to reconsider those comments you made.

• Final thoughts?

  A12: Being a kid is hard! And it’s even harder when you’re a trans/non-binary kid. Back in the day, if you were seen as different, you’d get picked on in school. Now, in the digital age, the cycle of bullying is 24/7. Trans/non-binary kids need to feel supported, accepted, and protected. Not further marginalized and made to feel lesser. None of this is a fad or a trend or, as Paul put it, a fun game.

  EB: Personally, it would be amazing if Paul Stanley read all of this, and it helped him realize why what he shared in his statement was incorrect. If he doesn’t read this, that’s okay, and at least I tried. More importantly, though, if anyone that agreed with his statement reads this, and it helped educate and change their mind, then it was all worth it and might just be my greatest achievement while covering the rock/classic rock news world.  
   
  History has shown that thoughts and opinions about various social and cultural issues have evolved over time. It was once unheard of that marriage equality would ever be a thing in the United States. When it comes to the rights of trans and non-binary people, this country has been through this fight before. We know how something like this ends. For now, even though so many of us are exhausted, we’re going to continuing fighting. And we won’t stop.

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Author Erica Banas // Rock Music Reporter

Category:

• 93.3 WMMR
• Music
• Rock News

Tags:

Dee Snider,Paul Stanley