Good News! Philadelphia Ranked #2 U.S. City to Survive a Dragon Attack
Philadelphia might not be the safest place to be a Cowboy’s fan, but it is one of the safest cities to survive a Dragon Attack.
Earlier this month, Shane Co. went on an adventure to explore the idea of what it would be like if the United States were invaded by dragons. Inspired by the finale of the HBO hit series House of the Dragon, the prequel to Game of Thrones, the company decided to create a list of a dragon’s likeliness to thrive within the United States. These results come from a series of different traits including food access, land area covered by water, and greenhouse gas emissions per acre, among other criteria. Philadelphia ranked in as the second Worst City to be a Dragon, just behind Indianapolis, Indiana. Lucky us!
So, if Dragon’s didn’t want the deliciousness of Philadelphian’s and cheesesteaks, then what are they looking for? Well, they didn’t want us for a variety of reasons. The reason Dragons are less likely to invade cities such as our own is due to lower elevations, fewer food sources, and lack of parkland. No dragon is going to wait for Nancy to get off work and go to her six o’clock yoga class to try and hunt her. Dragon’s do not want to hunt too hard for their food, so areas with lots of cattle and lower aviation facilities make for better hunting environments.
Instead, a Dragon would rather take residency in a place like Alburquerque, New Mexico or Las Vegas, Nevada. According to Shane Co., Dragons especially love to hoard treasure, so a city such as Las Vegas would be the prime spot to hoard some precious jewelry, and maybe convince the Las Vegas Raiders to move back to Oakland.
At the end of the day, no one likes us, not even dragons, and we don’t care.